Fundamental Goodness

Morgan Harper Nicholes

Morgan Harper Nicholes

Sup Sup beautiful beings! Welcome back! As you may know, the next 14 posts I’ll be sharing some helpful and useful information around cultivating and deepening an authentic relationship with your self-compassion.

So what is self-compassion? Well, it’s just what it sounds like. It means being compassionate towards yourself. Now before you roll your eyes and scroll on allow me to go on, that’s just the simplest answer. It means honoring yourself and appreciating when life is going alright, as well as being gentle, kind and forgiving to yourself when life is hard. So much of our discomfort comes from constantly criticizing ourselves and other people. Perhaps we’ve felt depressed and anxious all our lives, maybe you can pinpoint to some specific terrible thing that happened to us. Or maybe we might believe that life should be different than it is, or that we won't be lovable until we get rid of whatever we think is wrong with us. While this may be true, it’s possible to feel loved, accepted, and appreciated for being exactly who we are. We can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are fundamentally OK - and even more! Innately we have a wise voice that knows we are fascinating and unique human beings. We can learn to hear that voice, more importantly, believe it. When life is going well self-compassion gives us permission to relish it without feeling guilty. We know that we deserve good things in life - not because we are better than other people, but because we are human beings. Compassion isn't something we have to earn. It comes from the recognition that everyone is born with basic human worth.

Perhaps, you need more education around what “basic human worth” means if so check out my first post ‘Self Compassion is a Skill’ for more information and resources around anti-racism, dismantling white supremacy, and intersectional bias.

Self-compassion is exceptionally important when handling any challenges in our life. When we really struggling - feeling afraid, depressed, angry, or lonely - what we need most are understanding and love. The trouble is that we can’t always rely on other people to be there when we need them. Even if we have a fantastic support system, many of us find it difficult to open ourselves up to love from others.

Yet, if we can establish a source of deep understanding and compassion within ourselves, it is always there when we need it. It solidifies the foundation for greater strength, resilience, and peace of mind. And fortunately, this is possible for anyone who is willing to practice.

Homework (if you feel); journal or chat with a friend 1. When life is going well… 2. When life feels hard… write out 3 examples of what your self-critical attitude sounds like when thinking about 1. (ex. People are going to discover I’m a phony.) Now do this again but this time with a self-compassionate attitude (ex. If people really understood me, they’d like me.) Now go on to 2. Again writing 3 examples one with self-critical ‘tude (ex. If I wasn’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to deal with this.) and now with a self-compassionate ‘tude (ex. Every human being experiences suffering, no matter how many virtues they have.)

Check back for next post ‘Self-Compassion. Self-Esteem. There’s a Difference.’

Blessings xxx