Self-Esteem is NOT...

Pretty much every kind of mental health problem can be associated with low self-esteem, depression, lack of motivation and for most of us we know low self-esteem is ‘bad.’ But did you know that high self-esteem can be a problem as well?

Self-esteem means judging or evaluating yourself positively. It attributes to our self-worth, perceived value, or how much we like ourselves. You believe you are a good person, and you identify with your strengths. However, research has shown that for most of us, believing we are good is so closely related to believing we are better than other people. In modern western culture is not ok to be average, we have to feel above average in order to feel good about ourselves. We adhere towards a stand-out mentality, with hyperfocus on how much we are special and different than everyone else.

This is the main problem with being overly focused on self-esteem. If I need to believe that I am better than other people in order to have high self-esteem, it can make me more likely to criticize others, and more fearful of people seeing my weaknesses. I can become too competitive and fragile when receiving negative feedback. We tend to get angry and aggressive towards anyone who has said or done anything that potentially makes us feel bad about ourselves. Narcissistic and self-absorbed behavior is on a high rise as the new normal. And still even with so much high self-esteem, we may feel it is often dependant on our latest success or failure, meaning self-esteem fluctuates depending on our ever-changing circumstances.

Celebrated 34 years on Earth on the Ides of March.

Celebrated 34 years on Earth on the Ides of March.

On the other hand, when you have self-compassion you don’t care if you are better, worse, or the same s anyone else. Self-compassion means relating to yourself with a kind and forgiving attitude no matter what is happening. Self-compassion isn’t dependent on external circumstances, it’s always available.

When we relate to ourselves with self-compassion, there's no need to put other people down. We aren’t afraid of the occasional failures, or even falling flat on our face because we can see them as valuable learning instead of threats to our self-worth. Researchers have found that self-compassion actually improves our motivation to succeed because we aren't so worried about making mistakes. We don’t need to be perfect, special, different, or stand-out in order to be lovable.







Today’s new moon in Taurus is our wake up call to get grounded. Get as centered as you can. Use this “extra” time given to us as the days start to feel longer to develop deeper connections to our foundation. Taurus the bull is the sign most in tune with the physical body and Venus it’s planetary ruler to our senses. We are invited to connect further with the healing powers within ourselves. We are asked and encouraged to evaluate differently our sense of security in all aspects of our lives (money, well being, energetic boundaries, agency, etc.) Our senses maybe greatly heightened and triggered more at the time of this new moon and for the next day or so. Le Luna offers her wisdom and magic to our paths, and Uranus makes its electric shift from Aries and into Taurus. Simone Butler said it best “Whether you’re consciously welcoming a breakthrough or unconsciously courting a breakdown, Uranus will oblige. Remember that we desperately need the shake-up which Uranus brings, as our world is greatly out of balance. Even disasters bring important messages as they clear the way to start again.” This is our wake up call to heal the Earth, heal ourselves and reawaken the sacred feminine (Taurus). WHAT CAN YOU FEEL? There’s so much we are missing. SO MUCH we are being awakened to. Open yourself up to your body. To see for yourself that it CAN experience a lot more of the invisible things that we can’t see. As well as what we do. Connected deeper to that grounded foundation of yours. One of inner peace no matter what else is going on. That doesn’t mean it all feels fine and you’re just as happy as can be. Growth isn’t always (if at all) comfortable. And its layered!  And it’s fucking complicated. And that’s OKAY! We’re all being invited to wake up here. And all the shit might be coming up!!!!! Personal to political, ethical, emotional. Can you connect to that inner peace? We are highly sensitive beings (some of us way more than others) Can you feel into the protective and powerful sacred feminine of Taurus. FEEEEELLLLL what you will. A song that I feel best represents this new moon in all it’s Taurus flavor. “Die 4 You” by Perfume Genius, this music video was made for the senses. To the sensitivities in all of us. Blessings xxx BBMAGDA